When you are learning about personal growth and development, you probably hear the phrase, “It’s important to commit to yourself,” often. This mantra is touted in self-care circles, among self-help gurus, and in blogs, books, and videos dedicated to personal empowerment. What does it really mean, though, to commit to oneself? And why is this act so crucial to your personal happiness and success?

The Act of Committing to Yourself

Committing to yourself means that you honor and are dedicated to yourself, your goals, your values, and your needs. It means that you focus on what you need to do to fulfill your purpose and realize the dreams that are most important to you. And it means doing so without allowing others to cross your boundaries, to instill their own values or needs on you, or to influence your dreams with their opinions.

When you are committed with all your heart to what you want to do in your life, you learn some valuable skills that will see you through any challenge. Committing to yourself helps you learn to tackle challenges and obstacles, to learn from your mistakes, to embrace imperfections and other viewpoints, to face your fears and limiting beliefs, and to manage your emotions so that they do not control your life.

Among the many benefits of committing to yourself is the ability to confront and heal those parts of yourself that are wounded, scared, tired, or defeated. You can be honest with yourself about how you are feeling, you can face the truth about who you are and what you have done, and you can learn to move forward with compassion and love for yourself in a way that enables to you grow from your past and move on healthily.

How to Commit to Yourself

Committing to yourself may not be that easy, especially if you have given up on yourself previously or feel the need to please other people. Here are some general guidelines for learning to commit and remaining true to who you are.

Step 1. Do not compromise your own happiness for others. If you are true to yourself, that means you must speak up for what you want and need, even if others might disapprove. You should not have to change who you are to make others happy. And if doing something for someone else impairs your ability to honor your own needs and desires, then it is not worth it.

Step 2. Take responsibility. Committing to yourself also means owning your role in everything that happens in your life. You make choices. You say and do things. All of these have consequences, and the only person who is responsible for you and your happiness is you. Stop blaming and looking for a scapegoat and learn to take responsibility for the control you have in your life.

Step 3. Learn to accept. Accept that the world is often unfair. Accept that you cannot change other people. Accept that you will make mistakes. Accept that bad things sometimes happen to good people. Because you cannot control any of these, the most important thing about all these situations is what you learn from it. Committing to yourself means learning from every situation and looking for how it can help you become the best version of yourself.

Step 4. Learn to say “no.” Committing to yourself means placing your priorities first. That means that sometimes you will need to say “no” when people ask you for favors, invite you to things, or invade your boundaries. Saying “no” to things that do not benefit you or interfere with your growth is a crucial part of remaining committed to who you are and want to be.